A Mother's Perspective
by Bulls in Brooklyn
Summary: Twilight from Esme's POV. Rated T to be safe. Enjoy!
1. I Want the Boredom Back

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or the rest of the series, and I reckon Stephenie Meyer has better things to do with her time, then write on FF right now, so I'm obviously not her!

**Summary:** Twilight from Esme's POV, I don't think it's been done before, but I could be wrong...Tell me what you think!

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Chapter 1 – I want the boredom back

It's ridiculous how much time you have on your hands when you're a vampire. You can't sleep, and any task you do, can be done in a tenth of the time it would take a human. Usually, when I'm bored, I start to garden, read or l clean (which is superfluous in itself, considering, everyone is quite tidy, there is no food or drink to spill, and no dust). But today, I was unusually fidgety. I'd start something, but it didn't interest me, or in the case of gardening, I wasn't paying attention and accidentally crushed some of my nicest freesias. So I was irritated as well as bored.

Maybe it was a premonition, or intuition, because less than five minutes later, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie walked in, all looking grim and anxious. No sign of Edward. And where was the mass amount of complaining over the boredom and monotony of school? I was more than a little worried.

"What's wrong? Where's Edward?" They exchanged serious looks, but didn't say anything. Finally Alice spoke up, nervously.

"Um, Esme, you may want to sit down…" Instinctive panic came rushing through me; memories of a cold baby in my arms, sobbing over my darling boy's corpse; then the wind rushing past me as I saw the ground, plummeting towards me. Suddenly, a wave of calm and commonsense ran through me. I gave Jasper a rueful smile.

"Sorry about that," Then I snapped my attention back to Alice.

"So, what happened?" She took a deep breath, and in a burst of words, said

"Well, today there was this new student, this girl, she's really pretty, and she was sitting next to Edward in Biology, and Edward was going to kill her, I don't know why, and he kept switching between murder and running, and I was in Calculus and I was full-on panicking, and my teacher was looking at me funny, but Jasper kept me from screaming, and then Edward picked us up and he was still deciding, but now he's stuck on his course. He's going to Alaska."

I blinked. I was, for the lack of a better word, gob-smacked. Shock was the only emotion I could feel right now. I mean, _Edward_? He, apart from Carlisle, is probably the strongest when it comes to resisting blood, because of the guilt he feels from his personal dark period. So why was this girl, this insignificant teenager, suddenly in so much danger? Would we have to move, _yet_ again? I _really_ like this house and it's just so much _hassle_... I realised what I was worrying about and I felt disgusted with myself. I'm thinking about my hatred of moving, when some girl is possibly condemned to death, and my son is suffering, probably in agony from guilt and temptation. And he's so far away from the family! I know that Tanya, and the rest will look after him, but he needs us! And how long will he be there?

My thoughts were interrupted by Carlisle coming home.

"Esme?" He called urgently, "Edward's left, I think he's gone to Denali. Do any of you know why?" he said glancing towards Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. I heard Alice explaining again to Carlisle in that same rambling, rushed way, while I just sat, staring into space.

And I thought today would be boring.

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This story is my first fanfic, so reviews are appreciated, and if you're going to flame, _constructive_ criticism would be nice! Thanks D

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	2. 3 Days Later

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Normal disclaimer crap here. I don't own blah, blah.

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Chapter 2 – 3 Days Later

It had been 3 days since Edward had left, and I was getting steadily more anxious. We hadn't seen hide nor hair of him, and he hadn't made any form of communication to us. We had rung the school progressively to say he was unwell, but apart from that, there was little mention of him, although we were worried.

So sufficed to say, I was more than a little shocked when I heard a car driving up to our house. A very familiar car too. I ran to the porch to see a black Mercedes pulling up. Edward got out of the driver's seat, a little hesitantly. I hugged him joyously, but I was not so blinded by happiness as to not see him wince slightly. I mentally berrated him, _you leave without saying goodbye or saying anything, you can put up with a single hug!_ He grinned slightly and nodded.

It was the middle of the day, so I was the only one home, but I knew better than to pester him with questions. _I'll leave that for Rosalie and Alice_. He grimaced. "Great…" he muttered, while I smiled. It was good to have him home.

As I anticipated, when the rest came home, there was a brief moment of happiness, then Rose refused to wait anymore. "So where have you been? We've all been worried, why did you leave?" Edward took an unnecessary deep breath and began, "I went to Alaska, and stayed in Denali, because that _girl,_ that girl had what had to be the most inticing smelling blood I had ever smelt. I was so close to killing every single person in that room to get to it." He said bitterly. We were all a little stunned. Emmett, in particular looked shocked. "But how?" He must have continued in his mind, because Edward seemed to know what he was talking about. "How did I resist? Honestly, I have no idea. If I had been as young as you were, when you had your," he seemed to struggle for a word, "_experience, _I would have followed your example."

I shuddered as I remembered Emmett's experience. He came home, Edward and Carlisle dragging him along, his legs seemingly automatic as he stumbled, shaking like an aspen leaf. He looked up at the gasp I uttered, and I saw his eyes. Blood red. I stopped in the middle of the room, halfway to him. Rosalie came in, alerted by the gasp and the curses of Edward and Carlisle as they pulled him through the threshold. Rose saw his eyes, and silently, ignoring our gazes, strode to him and sat beside him (as he had sunk into a sitting position), without speaking, just letting him know she was there. We left, knowing that this was something personal, between them.

I was drawn back to reality by Carlisle (that seemed to happen a lot these days, why do I keep getting off track?). He had come back from the hospital, and after saying hello, quickly started questioning him. I knew this is when the real decisions would be made. "So, do you think we'll have to move again, or can you cope with this Edward? Can you resist, spend an hour **(A.N. I don't know how long the periods are, so let's just say an hour)** in her company every day without succumbing to temptaion? You need to be sure about this." Edward was looking very thoughtful and strained. Finally, he looked up. "I'm sure. I'm staying here." I couldn't help giving a little sigh of relief in my head. I hate it when my family's split up.

But I knew this wouldn't be the end of this issue. Not for a long shot.

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I'm not too sure about this chapter, tell me what you think. And the chapters are STILL TOO DAMN SHORT!! Sorry, but I've got massive writer's block (which is great when it's only the second chapter), and Esme's harder to write than you would think!

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	3. Discussions About Nothing

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or Midnight Sun

This chapter is dedicated to three lovely people: Lizzy1313 for my first favourite (and for making me happy), Mimi-Love-4ever, for my first review, and Krissi, a friend of mine, who is jealous of me because my last name is Carlin. Which in her mind, is so like Cullen, that she wants it. She's a little obsessed, but she can marry my cousins if she wants. (No boys in my family).

Plus an honorable mention to loveRomance1, another reviewer.

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**AN: Frankly, I didn't really like Midnight Sun, I thought it was cute, but it kind of made me like Edward less (don't kill me, hey, that means less competition girls!! Oh God, remember, no more crushing on fictional characters!! My bad!!). Kind of annoyed me…… **

**So screw it!! I'm going to continue with the way I'm going, makes it easier…..**

**By the way, this has a tiny bit of Carlisle/Esme fluff, my first attempt, wish me luck!!**

**Albums: **Smile For Them– Armor for Sleep (lol, it really doesn't lend itself to this type of chapter, but the next one is even stranger), Heroine-From First To Last (War World Me is still my favourite song, and has been listened to on my iTunes/iPod 327 times………little obsessed as you can tell)

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Chapter 3 – Discussions About Nothing

It was around 4 am, and I was relaxing with Carlisle on the couch. There wasn't much need for the couch, the comfort I got from his arm around me and the slow, pointless movement of his breathing was enough in itself. He leaned in, and whispered, "Love you,". I twisted, smiling, and said, "You too," and we kissed slowly. My hand was tracing lightly through his hair, while his hands were running up and down my back, giving me tingles. We stopped, and just looked at each other, gently smiling, each of us feeling the love coming off the other.

I heard Edward slowly walking down the stairs from his room. Ever since he'd gotten back from Alaska, he was more quiet, he seemed to be deep in thought all the time. Alice had even managed to sneak up on him once without him realizing; it was probably the first time I'd ever seen him jump. I really needed to find out what was going on.

I quickly kissed Carlisle one more time, and thought as loudly as I could muster, "Edward, could I speak to you in private, maybe we could go for a run?" I walked towards the staircase, glancing up in time to see him give me a quick nod, and join me. "Carlisle, we're just going out for a bit okay?" Carlisle glanced at me; we'd already spoken about the matter, and decided I would be the one to speak to him. He nodded, and Edward and I ran slowly through the forest, jumping lightly over the river. We were about 20 miles from the house, when Edward slowed and turned to face me.

"So, what did you want to speak to me about?" he asked, playing dumb. _You know. _He grimaced. "Must we?" he asked. I sent him a look. He sighed heavily.

"Look, I'm not sure yet. I don't really know how I feel. I even asked Jasper and he said the main emotion was confusion. And guilt. And……I just don't know. I don't think I've felt like this before. I mean, I've felt bloodlust before obviously, but nothing to this extent. And she just looked so confused and hurt. I can't get the image out of my head, it's just so _frustrating_!"

He was rambling. That's something new, normally he's so composed; it's almost eerie. And he spoke with more passion in his voice than he had a for a long time. It was just odd. It almost sounded like he had a bit of a crush…He interrupted my musings. "It's not a crush," he said rolling his eyes, like the idea was some impossible concept, "I'm confused, that's all." It was like he was trying to convince himself more than me.

I could tell he'd had enough, so I decided to throw him a bone, "So, when do you think you'll be ready to go back to school?" He groaned, and for a second, he seemed so much like a regular teenager, it was almost frightening. He grinned, "No chance of that is there?" he said, turning a little bitter at the end. I sighed internally, and was close to rolling my eyes. He can be such a drama queen at times.

"I heard that." I just looked at him and grinned.

"So, back to the original topic, what about school?"

"Can you ring in sick again today? I haven't hunted enough, and honestly, I _really_ can't be bothered putting on the charade, _yet_ again." I shrugged.

"Fair enough." He shot me a grateful smile. _Hey, at least I'll have some company today._

We walked back to the house, it had only been about 10 minutes since we'd left, and we needed a bit of time to absorb, and enjoy the peace and quiet.

"Thanks," he said suddenly. "This really helped get my mind off things for a bit."

"You're welcome." I smiled. "I'm glad to be of service."

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**I think I'll end it there. Quick question, do you guys want me to write out Esme's day at home with Edward, or do you want me to skip straight to a later section, either when Edward comes home after school after speaking to Bella, or when he comes home after saving Bella's life?**

**I've got a couple of ideas for each, but I'm indecisive so I need some help people!!**

**I feel desperate for asking, but please review! It really lights up my day and makes me do a ridiculous happy dance around my family room. Plus, reviews make me want to write faster!!**


	4. AN and Apology

Okay guys this is just an AN, but I want to let you know that I'm still writing, I'm about halfway through the next chapter, but it's a difficult chapter to write, because I'm not entirely sticking with Midnight Sun here, which makes it hard.

But I just wanted to let you know I'm not giving up, and your chapter will be up soonish, hopefully within the week!

Happy New Year everybody!


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